Gay Men Need to Protect Themselves Too

type

Post

status

Published

date

Apr 9, 2026

slug

Gay-Men-Need-to-Protect-Themselves-Too

summary

I experienced sexual molestation for the first time

category

icon

password

URL-TEXT

Not long ago, a tailor shop opened in our residential community. The property management even promoted it in the group chat. I had a duvet cover that needed the zipper replaced, so I went to the shop. It was run by an elderly man.

The first time I went, there were two women in the shop. The old man’s words and behavior were completely normal. We chatted casually about everyday life. At the time, I even thought he seemed kind and approachable. From his appearance, he certainly did.

Some time later, I went back a second time. This time, he was alone. That was when he began testing the waters. He first asked whether I had a girlfriend, then whether I lived alone. After that, he started telling stories. He mentioned that he knew some men who lived together as a couple. At first, I didn’t realize he was laying the groundwork for something, so I just responded politely. I didn’t reveal that I’m gay. Then he talked about when he used to work in another city. He said that because he didn’t have much money, he shared a place with another man. Back then, he claimed, his sex drive was strong and he couldn’t always find women, so they would “play” with each other—getting each other hard, masturbating each other—and he described it in uncomfortable detail. I barely responded. As soon as my zipper was fixed, I picked up the duvet cover and left.

Unfortunately, another zipper on a different cover broke later. I considered going somewhere else, but his shop was extremely close to where I live, and I told myself he had only been talking—maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal. So I went back a third time. I didn’t expect he would take my earlier silence and lack of visible disgust as consent, as if that gave him an opening. He started the same way again, talking about men he knew who lived together. This time he added, “Nowadays this kind of thing is becoming more common. There are more and more gay people.” I casually asked, “Are you gay?” He said, “No. I’m just curious, and I want to release some urges. When gay people play, they do it from behind. I don’t do that.” I didn’t respond. He went on to describe, in uncomfortable detail, how he had fooled around with other men, even mentioning receiving oral sex. I just wanted the zipper fixed so I could leave as soon as possible.

Then the worst part happened. After I scanned the code and was about to enter the amount to pay, he suddenly reached over and grabbed my dick. He said, “Let’s see if you’re hard. If you are, do you want to play? There’s only me here anyway.” My mind went completely blank. The only thing on my face was an awkward smile. After I finished paying, I left immediately, but he had already touched me for a few seconds. Legally speaking, what he did was a crime. It was sexual assault.

I didn’t lash out or hit him right away. The immediate reason was that I was in the middle of entering the payment amount. I never expected him to use that moment to assault me, and my mind just froze. When I came back to myself, my first thought was that he was an old man. If I reacted physically, I might end up causing bigger trouble for myself. Even if the police got involved, because of his age, it seemed unlikely he would face serious consequences.

I had seen news stories about older men harassing or assaulting women. I never thought I would experience something like that in a same-sex context. Reality taught me a harsh lesson.

For me, even basic physical contact should happen only with mutual consent, let alone anything intimate. That principle has nothing to do with sexual orientation, gender, or age. It has everything to do with character.

I’m not a casual person.

That same day, I told two friends what had happened. Both immediately told me I did nothing wrong — that this was simply a bad person who happened to grow old. I agree completely.